Saturday, February 13, 2010

Enough is enough

Okay, I get that you and Party Boy I are great friends. I'm happy that you found each other and enjoy each other's company so. However, I'm sick to death of seeing you.

I'm sick to death of your diseased carcass sprawled out all over my couch, in my living room, in my apartment, that I pay rent for. I'm sick of hearing you coughing constantly. Like just now. And now. And again. How dare you bring your illness into this apartment and get Party Boy I sick, who in turn, passed the favour on to me. Some nerve you have introducing the illness into this home one day, and a couple of days later, decide that you want to stay here for a week. No, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you. I won't have it any longer.

You've been here for one week and one day now. Haven't you got a home? Don't your parents wonder, or care, where on this earth might you be?

No. No, they probably don't. That explains some of the more annoying facets of your personality. Your parents didn't give a hoot enough to raise you properly.

You and Party Boy I have made the house a complete wreck once more. Open bags of crisps carelessly tossed onto the rug, crumbs spilt out everywhere... a wide variety  of assorted drinking glasses and cups strewn about; some with various liquids within, some with all kinds of nasty, festering things caked upon the interior; remnants of fast food containers, half-eaten artery-clogging hamburgers, and Lord only knows what else, just left sitting out; enough clothes piled up in corners and hanging off of furniture to open up a modest Goodwill shop; dishes stacked to the ceiling in the sink ("Oh, I didn't make that mess so it's not my responsibility!" Yes, it is. They're your savage friends who came in and trashed the place. If they haven't got the decency to clean up after themselves, it is then YOUR responsibility to do so.), crumbs of all sizes and origin all over the floor, that wonderful aroma of a city dump emanating from the rubbish bin... oh, yes, all of these things have made it just a joy having you around.

Please, do stay another three months. Let's see how quickly we can get the joint condemned! I bet the other jerks in your stupid frat would love to hear about it!

Fuck right off...but clean up first.

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