Wednesday, October 27, 2010


A young lady mentioned to me long ago that she felt like I become easily and intensely obsessed with things, only to later move on in favour of something else. At the time, I didn't really accept this idea...but now I know it's true.

Within the last two years, my major obsessions have been golf, medicine, and certain musical artists. There have been loads of miniature love affairs, which last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Most recently, the Bed Intruder song, as funny as it sounds, has been a tremendous draw for me. I was in the midst of studying for a series of exams and looked it up in a moment of desperation, needing a quick laugh. The result has been that I've listened to it several times a day since Saturday. I'm singing it over and over just about all day...just can't stop. During all of this, I was also obsessively watching clips from Mock the Week, as I mentioned earlier. I dropped that after a day or two.

Last year during Christmas break, I, for whatever reason, became intensely interested in football. Having never played a football video game before, I decided that I'd really enjoy owning a FIFA game for my xbox. I bought the latest edition, and sure enough, loved the tarnation out of it. I dropped it once classes resumed in January of this year. I had a brief revisiting during the World Cup. Several days ago, the idea to play it again hit me and it's been nonstop since. I've expanded it further by seeking out avenues by which I may watch actual games, despite not necessarily having the time to do so. Not sure if I'm going to let that stop me.

I remembered the other day, while watching Mock the Week, that I was intensely interested in Mortal Kombat video games at one time. I spent quite a lot of time memorising the button combinations that would perform specific moves for my favourite characters. Very clearly, I remember my mom saying, "If only you'd spend this much time and energy on your school work." I wasn't a bad student by any means at this time. Most of it came naturally and didn't require much study. My reply to her was something along the lines of, "Well, if my school work was this fun/interesting..." I've noticed that I'm not as excited to be at my current academic level as I was, say, a year ago. The material, especially molecular biology, is quite interesting, but studying it is tedious and uninteresting. I hate it. I'm bored by it... can't quite work out why. Maybe it's because I have to do it, whereas if I had the ability to do it at my leisure, I could be a molecular biology genius.

This is a problem. A big problem. I wonder what might happen if, by some miracle, I'm accepted into med school upon first applying. Will I burn out and be disinterested in learning the material just as quickly?


Saturday, October 23, 2010


  • Haven't had to resort to studying in the bathroom since last weekend.
  • Was below the curve again for one of my exams...oh, wonderful. Feel I did okay on the other; won't know until next week, maybe. One more to take next week.
  • Won't know the results of my ADHD evaluation for three agonising weeks.
  • I've taken to studying to the sounds of nature...found a bunch of mp3s of birds carrying on, ocean waves crashing, etc. It's quite lovely and almost makes me forget that I'm locked away indoors. Bird songs do wonders for my emotional state. haha
  • Couldn't turn up for volunteering this week due to having been a bit under the weather in the latter half of the week.
  • Rediscovered Mock the Week on Youtube and spent my last waking hour Thursday night watching clips of the "Things..." segment. Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, and Milton Jones crack me up like few others can.
  • Briefly, yet seriously, considered abandoning my current degree and taking back up with being an art major. Physics II is my last required class for med school, and I'll complete that in the spring. Oh, temptation. Money is a factor that severely inhibits my ability to jump ship. Only three semesters stand between me and graduation.
  • Had a great time playing (getting destroyed in) FIFA on the xbox with my flatmates last night. Competition was fierce!
  • I've begun organising my Christmas break schedule. I'll hopefully get in to shadow in the ER for the duration of the break. I'll begin my MCAT prep...and if finances allow, I'll take a wee roadtrip with my flatmates!
The end. heh

Saturday, October 16, 2010

All things must pass

The peace and quiet in the apartment has now come to an end. Grad Student I decided to get drunk and watch football. He's every bit as loud as my flatmates were last year.

...all this, the weekend before a big exam week for me. Feels like I just can't win!

So, I'm writing this from my bathroom. It's got a really noisy exhaust fan, so it drowns out GS I's ridiculous yelling at the television. I wish I would've thought of studying in here last year!!

I'm here to cater to your needs, but only to a certain extent...

*Call bell*
Me: How can I help you?
Patient: Can you bring me some ice? ...A lot of ice?
 Me: Sure thing!

 I got a humongous mug full of ice and jaunted off down towards the patient's room.

When I entered, he and his family were very grateful. As I was leaving, I heard one of the visitors say, "On the rocks, please!"

I turned around and the patient had just opened a large bottle of rum.

I couldn't believe my eyes. He wouldn't give me the bottle, so the nurse had to go in and snatch it away from him. Unbelievable!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Had a rough day of those "Never gonna make it to med school" days. One of my flatmates provided some encouraging words that didn't sink it until lunchtime today. More on that in a bit.

For the first time since the beginning of the term, I understood precisely what was going on for about a 20 minute chunk of my molecular biology lecture. It was exactly the second wind I needed to ramp up my exam-prep.

After class, I went to take care of some small things around town and happened upon a gigantic antiques shop. I'm drawn to antiques shops like moth to flame. There is something so mysterious, charming, and worthy of praise about them... not much produced these days is built to last, so naturally, I value highly the longevity of these items.

As I wandered around from one aisle to the next, I saw all manner of trinkets, furniture, and books. If only I could take it all home with me. I decided that I'd let myself buy one item (or a combination of items, not to exceed $20 in total) if something really took hold of me. The closest I came was with a shelf full of very old cameras. I have one that belonged to my great-grandfather that is in the precise style as all of the ones in the shop, but definitely higher end. Still, though, to see so many was a joy.

...and I thought about my grandfather, for whom photography was a great passion. It's getting close to 20 years since he passed and I miss him greatly. I often wish that he was still here to see me on my path to medical school, and I sure could use his guidance on all things academic. He was a doctor, but not of the medical variety. Anyway, as I was turning the camera in my hands, I smiled and wondered what his reaction would be to these items...I wondered if he'd greet them with as much approval.

I took the long way home. I don't recall thinking about anything in particular, which is rather strange for me. During a study break, I thought a little about the girl I'd met yesterday. My flatmates say I should snatch her up now before someone else does, but I'd feel more than a little weird dating someone fresh out of high school. Some part of me agrees I should dive in and see what happens. Uh, the rest of me is waiting to dive in after she's above the legal drinking age. ha.

I also thought about the advice from my flatmate...he was very encouraging when he said that I shouldn't worry about failure, that I shouldn't worry about my last year of university not being outstanding, stop doubting myself, and just go for it. Since I last met with my pre-health advisor, I've been thinking a lot about his advice to stay for another year to show solid academic achievement. I really don't want to. Maybe it's foolish to ignore his advice, but I made up my mind to do just that. I feel like I'm ready. Full steam ahead!

No time was wasted whipping out the MSAR and evaluating all of the schools I'd bookmarked earlier in the year. I removed some bookmarks, added some new ones, and made an Excel sheet with all of the pertinent data on each school. I can sort it by GPA, science GPA, MCAT, etc... time well spent! I picked a half dozen schools to which I'll apply and felt more motivated than I have in a month.

Just a few minutes ago, I spoke to my grandma for the first time in a few months (ah!!). At the end of the call, she mentioned my grandpa and how he struggled and doubted himself plenty, as well. End the end, he got to where he'd wanted to go. She told me to keep my nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel, and in those precise words.

After we hung up, I thought more about my grandpa, and about this morning in the antiques shop. Maybe he is witnessing all of this, and cheering me on, to boot. It's a lovely thought.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The loveliest of mornings

Mine eyes have laid upon a fine beauty, a mere hour ago.

Mine lips spoke to her words so softly and true.

My heart was aflutter, with enough energy to propel myself to the edge of the galaxy and back in the stretch of three short seconds.

Her hair, a lovely chocolate brown, draped alongside the edges of a perfectly oval face.

Her eyes, a striking blue, like the waters of the Caribbean, all the more enhanced by lightly applied black eyeliner.

Her voice, soft and gentle, and so incredibly feminine.

The blush on her cheeks, as red as any rose...

A stunning beauty, no question about it. For the better part of an hour we sat in close proximity, laughing, talking briefly of desires to run away to the countryside and leave the madness of the city  behind...looking deeply into one another's eyes.

Josiah fell flat on his face in love...

...only to find that she is ten years his junior.

Par. for. the. course.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Josiah the report-writer

I'm required to produce a report for tomorrow morning's lab. My progress thus far is outlined below:

12:45-ish p.m.: Computer on, Word open, let's do this.
12:50 p.m.: Title page and opening sentence written.
12:55 p.m. Checking email
1:00 p.m.: Facebook
1:20 p.m.: Typing and erasing a second sentence.
1:22 p.m.: "I should change my desktop wallpaper to something nice and autumn-like!"
1:40 p.m.: Facebook
1:45 p.m.: Glanced at report
1:46 p.m.: "I need new shoes." Resisted urge to visit various online shoe dealerships.
1:50 p.m.: Finished large mug of coffee
1:51 p.m.: "I'm going to get this report finished by 4 p.m."
1:55 p.m.: Facebook
2:05 p.m.: "I've wasted over an hour already." Feeling antsy. Wanting to do anything and everything not related to science. Looked longingly at unfinished painting... logged in here to write about my procrastination.

Now, for real, I'm going to get. this. business. DONE.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Out to sea

Wednesday morning was one of the most beautiful we've had since March, I'd say. Lovely, clear, and cool. Ah, come on, winter!

Each time the weather begins to transition in this manner, I feel like my happiness is in full bloom. There is great comfort in the cold! Women are also usually all the more beautiful in their cozy, comfortable, and warm winter attire.

My only class on Wednesdays ends just after 9 a.m. The crisp air was completely invigorating and put me in the most wonderful mood. After buying my favourite seasonal blend coffee, I strolled quite leisurely to my car and felt glad to be in the moment. I watched the limbs of trees swaying in the wind and took notice of the way by which the light hit the leaves, and the shadows it made on the ground. Almost instantly, I felt the urge to paint.

I'm a terrible painter. Always have been. Years ago, I swore I'd not bother with it anymore...

...but I found myself in an art supply store a short time later, stocking up on paints, canvases, and brushes. I couldn't wait to get home, put on The Beatles' "Revolver" and paint until the sun went down.

I got back around 11 a.m. and set straight to work. Hours whisked on by, and at 3 p.m., I sort of snapped out of it and realised that I had to keep an appointment with my psychologist for more ADHD testing. It was the loveliest, most stress-free couple of hours I've spent in ages. It was nice to not think about SNPs, calculating the velocity of a satellite orbiting the earth, or the lytic cycle of phage T4.

There hasn't been sufficient time since to finish my painting. It's all I've been thinking about, though... makes focusing on my studies that much more difficult. When I get into my artistic modes like this, I'm rather powerless to resist. I have to cave in, and it's always terribly satisfying. It's like being caught up in a current and carted swiftly out to sea...only, it's enjoyable.

Another two weeks until my ADHD testing is complete, by the way. I'm looking forward to getting answers, or even asking new questions.