Tuesday, December 22, 2009


My dearest Nora, wherever thou mayst roam,

Although quite accustomed to, and welcoming of, change, the things which are changing at this point in my life are rather depressing. The major issue is that I've already spent my last Thanksgiving at home, and am in the process of spending my last Christmas at home. Next year, my mother will have moved, and while she swears that I'm welcome to stay with her, I wouldn't feel at all comfortable with it. She's remarrying, you see, and I hardly know the man. In fact, of what I do know, more of it is negative than positive. My mother hardly even knows him, for they've only been dating for one half of a year, and she won't listen to reason. So much has changed with her and it's almost as if she is not the woman who raised me. I want her to remarry and be happy with someone, but I surely wish that she would take her time and pick someone worthy of her love.

To make matters worse, last night I went to the home of an old flame to prepare and enjoy dinner together. We've remained great friends and I thought that I'd made peace with her new relationship. It's been nearly a year, after all... I am here to announce that, apparently, I am not over her. On the dresser in her room sits two professional photographs of them together and it made my stomach churn...a most surprising reaction. I don't understand.

All of this brings up the thoughts I used to have a decade+ ago, where I'd imagined myself at 25 with a wife, a home, and a good job. At 27, I have none of these things and no prospects for any of them, either. Well, the first rays of hope from medical school are just nearly dawning, so at least the good job aspect of my dream is coming into sight.

Furthermore, while it has been rather nice out for the last couple of days, this has not been the case for the better part of the last few months. I should not expect cool weather in this miserable state, but each year, I go on with my foolish dreams and hopes, anyhow. Christmastime has not felt it since moving here so, so long ago, almost entirely due to the lack of cool weather starting in late September/early October. When it's still in the 70s, sometimes in the 80s, in December, it's hard to get into the Christmas spirit. Yes, I am well aware of what should be on my mind at this time of year, and I can assure you that it is, but I am a man who has always enjoyed the fine particulars of things.

Altogether, it's been a strange, and sometimes quite harsh, year and I'm about ready to throw it out on the curb with the rest of the rubbish where this mess rightfully belongs.

May the grace of He keep you always,

J.O. Morris

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