A Grocery Story

My dearest Nora, wherever thou mayst roam,

I am here to report some most interesting happenings during my trip to a local grocery store for procurement of some last-minute items:

* My life was threatened by a three year-old girl, who said to me, "I'll smoke you! I'll smoke you!" as she pointed at my face. Nice kid, definitely nice parents!

* At the checkout line, the cashier held up the tub of pumpkin pie topping and said, "You're only getting one?" Yes, ma'am, that's why there is only one on the cart. "They're buy one, get one free, you know!" Ah, then in that case, I shall come home with two. I felt quite foolish when I'd run back to the freezer case and saw a gigantic, "BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sign.

* Upon return to the cashier, she held up a bag of frozen broccoli and asked, "Do you know how much this is?" in a manner so as to indicate that it might be more expensive than I'd thought. I told her it didn't matter. She looked a little flustered, and said, "Well, actually it does...the scanner won't read the barcode." Whoops. Later, I got to laughing about that and couldn't stop as I was putting my groceries in the car...all alone. People must've thought I'd gone off the deep end.

May the grace of He keep you always,

J.O. Morris