Talk to me

Dear Scottish lady on the BBC World Service,

Each time that I'm so lucky as to hear your adorable voice, I can feel the blood vessels throughout my body throbbing ferociously and I get a bit light-headed. You do all sorts of wonderful things to me, and I do wish that our paths might somehow cross. It would be ideal that you got swept up by my charm (you'll have to be easily swept up, for an Archibald Leach I am not), we married, and had loads of children who end up speaking with your accent.

So, how about it? Let's find each other, and for the first few months of our courtship I'd be content to cook dinner and just sit and listen to you speak...about anything. Read from one of those old Time Life DIY home repair books (even the plumbing one), or anything else ever published, and no matter what, you'd have a captive audience.

(Couldn't find a clip of the woman of my fancy, but the lovely-sounding lady presenting the weather at the beginning of this clip is pretty close. Oh, my. EDIT: It seems as though the BBC has pulled a fast one and switched up the clips on me... I'll seek out another clip from another source. )

Anxiously awaiting you,

J.O. Morris